Life. Football. Cats. Beer. Writing. Germany.
Chair of Shatterdome Atlanta. Viable Paradise grad. Runner. Kann auch Deutsch.
Pacific Rim--LOTR--ATLA--MCU--Sleepy Hollow--Utena--Princess Tutu
My personal opinion… my SO would not be irrational, but the anger would be largely misdirected. Both A and B are natural…
So, basically, I’m upset that people aren’t sticking up for me more and making sure this particular asshole sees real consequences (see LJ/DW for more detail). Because they’re non-confrontational and don’t want to cause “drama.”
A person you’ve been acquainted with for a while and is friends with your friends goes in the same car with you and your long-term so on a road trip.
This person starts by throwing luggage at your so and cussing them out for about five minutes, without an provocation.
You respond by
A. Staring in stunned silence.
B. Getting angry on your so’s behalf.
C. Something else.
Your so responds by being angry that you didn’t defend them.
Is your so irrational?
Well, bi tumblr isn’t dedicated to proving itself to be “one of the most” anything…because bi tumblr isn’t singular. Bi tumblr is a diverse collection of blogs. So there’s that.
But also, and more importantly, if you think that me declaring a bisexual identity for characters whose identities are left ambiguous by writers is “one of the most homophobic” things on this planet…well, I’ve got news for you.
Gunnerkrigg Court fans really need to cool their anon hate, seriously. And like, many claims to why labeling unlabeled girl characters in same-gender relationships as bi rather than lesbian is homophobic is because it gives the impression lesbians are “open” to relationships and having sex with men. This is a pervasive stereotype so I always try to tred carefully around unlabeled non-straight characters that show no interest in other genders at all.
However, when the source material shows the characters having canonical sexual and romantic interest in men, even long and deep relationships with men, before getting into a same-gender relationship or even during the relationship, it’s still considered homophobic to label them as bi “because lesbians can have relationships with men and still be lesbian”.
There’s literally no way bisexuals are allowed to see or suggest ambiguous representation is bisexual, which is super ironic because our orientation gets labeled “ambiguous” constantly even if we label it bisexual ourselves.
I bolded that last paragraph because I think it’s really important and then I also wanted to add a bit that’s somewhat tangential…
Part of the problem, I think, is in the way many folks conceptualise bisexual identity in relation to gay/lesbian identity. If you think of being gay as being as much about being not interested in women as it is about being interested in men, then you think of bi folks as “less gay.” (Same with lesbian identity and women).
And there is a difference between saying “I’m gay because I’m only attracted to men,” and saying “I’m gay because I’m not attracted to women.” And it’s often a lot easier to conceptualise an identity as a negative rather than as an affirmative. “I am gay because I am not like straight people,” is an easier way to conceptualise one’s identity than “I am gay because I share X in common with other gay people.”
This sets up a dichotomy (a binary) and bisexual/pansexual/unlabelled queer folks are screwed because we don’t fit into either side of this binary. So, in any given situation, a bi/pan/queer person will have their identity relabelled (mislabelled) based on the context they find themselves.
How many times have bi/pan/queer folks been told biphobia/panphobia/queerphobia is really just homophobia, and moments later found that they were accused of being homophobic?
It’s a recontextualising of bi/pan/queer identity as being “similar to gay/lesbian” or “similar to straight” depending on the context. Discrimination bi/pan/queer folks face must be homophobia because bi/pan/queer folks identities are understood as “similar to gay/lesbian.” And any time bi/pan/queer folks try to assert their identities as separate from gay/lesbian, they are accused of homophobia because they are understood as “similar to straight.”
That bi/pan/queer identities are identities in themselves which can be understood on their own terms is not something many folks can wrap their heads around. Which goes back to the bit I bolded in a-little-bi-furious’ response. That ambiguous depictions of sexuality are a product of biphobia is not something a lot of folks can really understand; so instead ambiguous depictions of sexuality are widely interpreted as being a product of homophobia. And if they are understood to be a product of homophobia, the only “right” way to fix that is to interpret these characters as gay/lesbian. Anything else (such as interpreting them as bisexual) is viewed as a compromise and lesser than.
-Of course, a lot of ambiguous depictions of sexuality are the product of biphobia and homophobia, especially if you’re looking at stuff from 30 years ago or more.-
I’ll stop my rambling on this now and also acknowledge that a lot of these issues stem from the heteronormative nature of western culture. This is not a problem gay/lesbian folks created all on their own.